i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
