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• (253): View more from Washington

  i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you

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• (956): View more from Texas

  Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...

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• (352): View more from Florida

  You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  If I remember correctly he wasn’t

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