drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
