They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
