if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize