thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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