You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
