He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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