She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
