they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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