honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
