just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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