Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
