dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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