His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
