dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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