You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You are the jesus of drinking
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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