What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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