'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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