I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize