"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
