Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
