I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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