Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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