You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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