it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
