I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
