I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
