You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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