it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
