you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
