Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
