His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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