some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
