I looked at my own cervix.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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