I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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