just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
