My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
