i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Boobs speak an international language.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
