Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
