i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
