I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
