my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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