Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
