I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
