I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we made out on top of his cat.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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