Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
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