apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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