Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
