get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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