areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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