dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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