I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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