Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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