I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
