Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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